A Trip to the Mall

Attention family... prepare to be awe-struck by the fabulousity of your super budget-friendly Christmas gifts. The budget-friendly part is probably a bit more exciting to Justin and myself than to you, but what are you going to do... 

We thought long and hard about not buying Christmas gifts this year, at the urging of both of our moms, but as many times as someone tells you, "Oh, don't get me anything this year. Just having you here is a gift enough," all I hear is "Blah, blah, blah, you got me socks? Seriously?"    

And so we ventured out to the mall today, well before the holiday madness should ensue, to find the perfect gifts for our loving family members. I wonder if you know how hard it is to find gifts for under 3.99 a piece?? Kidding! ..... sort of. 

Malls are overwhelming places to begin with, but throw in the largest mall in the United States of America (in terms of leasable retail space, says Wikipedia) and lingering swine flu, and you've got one hell of a day. At this point I'm feeling like someone tied a rope around my neck and drug me through the New York City Marathon. Or Boston even. Not Columbus though - much too flat to describe my tiredness. 


Anyway, we made it to the mall at 12:20 and by 12:50 we were leaving to get lunch (thanks to gift card found in the bottom of my purse - don't you LOVE that??). We're not mall people, I suppose. After eating a healthy meal with a total caloric content of about 10,000, we were ready to continue searching for the perfect gifts (and to throw up all over Bloomingdale's). 


Here's something you should know about Justin (assuming you don't know him as intimately as most of you who would bother reading this probably already do)... he's indecisive. And the worst shopper who ever lived. However, he's not the kind of male shopper that makes most wives want to pull their hair out (e.g. "I don't care! Whatever, just buy it. C'mon, the game's on!) Instead, he's of the variety that cares entirely too much.  

He will identify a shirt he likes and look over said shirt for, oh, 25-35 minutes? Then, once he's decided said shirt is acceptable, having stretched it, held it up in various lights, tried it on, put it on the floor and jumped up and down on it, and googled the manufacturer on his iPhone, he'll move on to color selection. And here's where things get interesting. He'll spend another 15-20 minutes debating the merits of every color option. ("What would you think if I walked in to an office wearing orange? What about into a bar? A Dunken Donuts?") And then, THEN!, once he has decided on the shirt and I'm saying a silent "Thank you, God, thank you for letting us move on," he spots ANOTHER shirt across the aisle. "Oh, Ash, do you like this one better?" I say no, of course, and try to gently guide him toward the cashier. But Justin is not that easily disuaded... "Wait ONE minute!" he'll say, "I need to check this out....." And thus the process begins again. You get the point.



So shopping with Justin for Christmas gifts is kind of like making a visit to the emergency room (with which we unfortunately have all too recent experience): you'd better bring a good book and be prepared to sit tight. There's no rushing it. And if you try, the mean lady behind the desk will give you a death glare that says, "Sit your butt right back down, missy. No, I did not call you. You'll know when I did." 


All in all, we spent about seven hours shopping today and spent probably the equivalent of most people's weekly gas budget. But we're done. DONE! And no one will go without a gift... assuming they like socks.